Losing and Gaining

"Decide carefully for your decision lies your destination. Don't decide when
your in peak of your emotion but come to point out some area to consider."

There is no growth without pain and there is no pain without growth and there is no success if there is no failure and there is no losing if you never gain. well.. losing doesn't always mean a bad result of one person decision. 'cause "losing" sometimes bring you to who really you are and what you really value and what is important to you.

" I let go of some people and the life that i used to have... indeed it hurt
but on the other way around i gain a family..."

but letting go of the other side of you doesn't mean you don't value and love those... hmm... let me put it this way

" to have what you never have is to make and do a decision you've never did
before."

wherein this kind of step you let go of some area but doesn't really mean you completely lose them..

Letting go of something doesn't really mean your compeletely out of it... it sometimes mean that you are not capable of handling both at the same time.

answered prayer

He'd been so faithful in my life since before and 'til now... my God love me so much I can boldly say that. He almost gave everything i desire and prayed for...

What I'm having now was just my dream way back 13 years ago or more hehehe... I pray for this and even cried for this whenever i bend my knees to prayer.. I remember when i was 11 years old a friend asked me "aren't you jealous with others who have complete families?" and then I asked myself... "hmmm... what do they have that i don't have and have to get jealous with?' (lol) so I just answered her with "nope I'm happy for them."

From that day when that question was asked to me I started questioning myself "what does it feel having a mom and a dad" and now, this year, I just have what I'd been dreaming to experience.. (lol) but its really true ... as the saying goes.. "becareful what you've been dreaming for" hehehe why? well.. I struggle at first and it's not really easy.. (laugh) why?.. because, i was used to do things and decision on my own... but even though I grew up like this 'keeping things for myself to do or not'. (hehehe) i never become a bratty girl (yikes grrr..) hehe I don't like the thought of being bratty (hehehe).. well.. when it come of do things in my way I have learned not to look at myself only but to consider others too.. adjusting is not really easy it takes alot of understanding... :) well there were times that I wanna freak out but hehehe I got no choice but to honor my parents authority.. :) but what pissing is that (urggh!!) they still see me a kid! (lol) and i'm already old--- hahaha and i don't know what to do to erase such image of a 'kid' on their mind hahaha well.. I admit that I still have some childlike mannerism but (huhuhu I can't let go of it) hahaha I still love to hug my bear early in morning, make noise, jumping stuff lol (joke!) well half truth or let say... hmmm...